Parking Bitches

So, I decided yesterday evening that it was a good idea to go downtown to a trendy little mall. Restoration Hardware, Pottery Barn, Banana Republic, Hard Rock, Williams-Sonoma...all the really cool places that always have dual names. Anyway, parking was a zoo, as usual. The lot is set up in a fairly orderly grid and I was waiting across a thruway, kitty-corner to a spot that was opening up. I had my blinker on and there was really no doubt as to why I was sitting there. So these two young (early twenties) bimbettes pull up in their Jetta in the thruway, right behind the spot that I 'd been waiting on. When they looked at me, I mouthed "mine", thinking that perhaps they just hadn't seen me at first, and then shook my head. They just giggled and laughed and zipped into the spot as soon as the previous occupant had vacated. I was livid!!

I'm really not one for confrontation...I usually just get on my cell phone to whine and bitch to whomever I can get a hold of. However, something snapped and I pulled in behind them, inches from the bumper, perpendicular to the offending Jetta. I just waited. The two girls nervously watched me in the mirrors and then started turning around and waiting for me to leave...I didn't. They tried to wait me out and it took them several minutes to work up nerve to exit their vehicle. When they did, I started yelling out of my window.

"What the f*** are you thinking?" They just stared at me with stupefied looks. Although, in all fairness, the vapid expressions may have been standard. "Are you really that f***ing precious or do you just enjoy being f***ing c***s (yes, I used the dreaded "c" word)?" They shied away without a word but continued looking over their shoulders.

So, I drove away and found another spot. All the way at the nether reaches of the lot. I had to walk by the Jetta as it was between my parking stall and the shops. I noticed that the girls were across the lot, in one of the fountained plazas looking back at their car/me. I'm not positive but I think they had their phone cameras pointed in my direction. It had never crossed my mind but I assume they thought I was planning on keying the doors or slashing the tires. I thought it funny.

I called one of my friends afterward and he came up with a great line to use. "If you are at all attached to that vehicle, you better move it now because it won't be here when you get back." I loved that and pictured the flabbergasted, mouths agape response it would have received. Kevin was a bit a of kill-joy when I repeated the whole thing and suggested that the alternate would have been construed as a serious threat and landed me in trouble. Spoil sport.