Tuesday, March 10, 2009

hyposcricy, closing ranks and love in varied forms

I recently saw the movie "He's Just Not That Into You", and in it, there is a diatribe by Drew Barrymore where she goes on about email, text, voicemail, mobile phone, home phone, Facebook/MySpace, etc. That has really hit home for me. As anyone looking at the dates of this blog can tell, all portals of technology are done in fits-and-starts with me. I'm really bad at getting back to Facebook stuff (although, to be honest, most of it is because I have not the damnedest idea what the different between a "wall" and a "note" are...I think that a "message" is similar to an email...although why they don't just call it an email is beyond my limited range of understanding) but I do try and all of the friends in my list are much loved and represent very, very fond memories.

In fact, (to get a bit off topic), some of them have literally made me the man I am today and I can't even begin to imagine my life without them. Even those that I haven't spoken to in decades have had such an impact on the make up of "me" that they will always be much loved and reside in my heart, whether they know it or not. It simply amazes me that I'm now able to drop a note to someone that even a year ago, I couldn't imagine that I'd ever see or hear from again. Case in point (and while I doubt he'll read this, I apologize for using his real name but there's really no way to tell the story without it), in high school, I had a friend named Blake Evan Dursteler...so, Blake E. Dursteler (I guess I could have left the last name off???). Somehow, I got away with calling him Blakey all through our peer group years. The only other person that I know of who managed that was his grandmother. I have no idea how it worked out that way but it's something that just stuck in my head...it's been an endearment that hasn't lost any affection even though, until a few weeks ago, I hadn't seen or spoken to Blake in God only knows how long.

Also, someone who has meant more to me and has been so ingrained in my makeup than I could ever begin to describe, via Facebook, I finally admitted how difficult her divorce has been on me. Her ex was also a friend...and a good one. He hasn't made any effort to contact me but neither have I done the same...so the friendship lacks a bit. But still, there was an affinity that made me sad to lose. Don't get me wrong, I wish her more than happiness; I wish her love beyond all measure. And as kind, generous and loving as she is, I'm certain that she has more than enough karmic points to get it.

However...I also found out via Facebook (although in all fairness, my mother did call not too long ago) that one of my cousins has a mass in his chest that certainly appears to be cancerous. He's in his 20's. A couple of years ago, I was in Oregon for his mother's wedding. The trip before that was my grandfather's funeral. As I recently told another cousin (the one that I'm probably closest to), I CANNOT make another trip to Portland for a funeral. I don't pray often but I certainly am for Joseph. The thing about my family, especially Joseph and his siblings, is that we close ranks quickly. I'll fly up as soon as I'm needed but I really, really hope that it's not necessary.

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